The Parable of the Good Samaritan Fantasy Drafter

A certain fantasy team owner named Eric had to leave town during the weekend of the annual fantasy draft, which would have stripped him of his team, which would have wounded his pride, and which would have left him bored for the next few months. He begged the other league owners to pick his team in his absence, so that he might have a team to return to.

And by chance there came a certain other fantasy team owner in the same league; and when he grasped the grave severity of the situation, he nevertheless rejected Eric's plea to pick his team. And likewise another owner saw him, and he too ignored Eric's entreaties.

But a certain Good Samaritan, when he was contacted by Eric, had compassion for him, and agreed to pick his team for him, and proceeded to pick an incredibly talented team--a team even more talented than the one he picked for himself.

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If you're like me, there's always someone missing at your league's draft. Sometimes a league's owners collectively agree on which player is selected when it's the missing person's turn to pick. And sometimes an "honest" owner is asked to pick the best team for those who are absent.

Perhaps it was my attempt to "do what Jesus would do," but this year I agreed to pick for my long-time friend Eric H. I don't recall why he was missing; he became a father last year, so perhaps he had certain "baby duties" to which a guy like me could never relate.

When you agree to pick someone else's team, in good faith, you shouldn't let it influence how you pick your team. For example, when it was Eric's turn in the 5th round, I knew that the undervalued Randy Moss was still available. (Let's not forget that Moss was coming off a disappointig 553-yard, 3-TD season--placing him under the radar in many drafts.) Since I was picking my team 3 turns later, I could have drafted someone else for Eric, hoping that Moss would be available when it was my team's turn.

But I felt obligated to be a Good Samaritan, and so I drafted Moss for Eric's team. There were some "ooooooh's" from the other league owners in the room, as they had forgotten all about Moss. It's quite possible that, had Eric been present, Moss would have fallen into my lap later that round.

And so it was bitterly ironic yesterday to lose 86-81 to Eric . . . to lose to a team that I assembled--a team that included (statistically):

• The #1 WR (Randy Moss)


• The #1 TE (Jason Witten)


• The #1 Defense (The Patriots)

Even with Witten on a bye, the QB I picked for Eric (Drew Brees) more than compensated for the TE's absence by tossing 4 TDs.

As with all parables, there's a lesson to be learned:

Don't stretch your allegiances beyond your investments.

Whether you're drafting a team or picking players off waivers, don't compromise your capabilities. Don't let your opponents benefit from your research. Softcore attitudes don't lead to championships. Hardcore attitudes do. Damn right.

So the next time your friend has to leave town or play with their baby or show some other blatant diregard for all that is holy in Fantasy Land, do yourself a favor: Turn the other cheek.

Now that's an attitude even Jesus would endorse.